We can introduce you to some pretty amazing, accomplished professional men or women, but we are not there with you to watch how you present yourself.  We can’t say enough about how important first impressions are for the success of a second meeting with this person or just for leaving a good impression, because you don’t know where that may take you.

For that reason, I have looked back at the feedback of clients from their meetings and compiled a list.  I have decided to make 2 lists based on gender, although some feedback can be used by either gender.  Some of the feedback may surprise you and some is just common sense.

The below is feedback from my clients and not my opinion.  This information is being shared to help men and women understand what is really important when you meet for the first time.

MEN– Feedback from Women:

  1. Steer completely clear of bringing up any information regarding your ex-relationships. It is really difficult for this information to benefit you in the meeting.
  2. Fashion is equally as important for men. You should take the time to ensure that you are wearing something clean, pressed and fashionable from the shoes up to the shirt. Shoes should be polished and in style (go for style over function 🙂 ).
  3. Wearing flip flops and shorts to a meeting is not looked upon as appropriate wear. Men should still wear some type of pants and shoes, even in the summer, as it is better to look more professional for the first meeting.
  4. Remember chivalry is not dead. Women love it when you stand up when they arrive or leave a table, help them with their chair or coat, and offer to walk them to the car. These are small things, but help you stand out above other men.
  5. Please ensure that you are asking questions, rather than just answering. Asking questions not only shows that you are interested, but it is polite.
  6. Women like confident men. It is really important to show that you are a decision-making man and are comfortable with who you are.
  7. Many women like men who are active in sports or activities which involve some physical aspect.
  8. If you are interested in seeing a woman again, your follow up time should be within 24 hours of the meeting. A delay beyond this, is easily taken as the man is not interested.
  9. A text which is a short one liner, such as ,”What’s up?”, is a definite turn-off. You are not texting a buddy, but rather trying to initiate a conversation with a woman.  There should be a beginning, middle and end.
  10. The language used at the initial meeting should be considered as what would be appropriate at a “business” meeting. You need to read your audience. Typically, using obscenities or foul language is inappropriate.


WOMEN– Feedback from Men:

  1. Take the time to present your best look. Men are very visual—from the hair, to the make-up and the fashion choice. While not appearing as a teenager, “youthfulness” is still definitely a big part of attracting interest. You can dress fashionably without looking too “old” or “young”. Think fashion…not function.
  2. Men like women who look feminine and use their femininity. Just saying…putting on a dress and wearing velcro comfy sandals does not give that illusion. 🙂
  3. Select your wardrobe carefully. Wearing shorts is too casual. Depending on the season, consider a skirt, dress or capris/ dress jean with stylish footwear.
  4. Men like women who are fit and toned. Realizing this is difficult for some people, this is a choice of men.
  5. Men like to feel needed and if you come across as too independent and do everything for yourself, they begin to question what they could offer. There is a fine line between being capable and too masculine-like. While you do not need to appear needy, it is better to appear feminine.
  6. Please ensure that you are asking questions, rather than just answering. Asking questions not only shows that you are interested, but it is polite.
  7. Men like to have stimulating conversations and enjoy having someone who can hold her own in a conversation. Being meek and not having an opinion, is typically not an attractive trait. Having said that, neither is dominating the conversation or too strong of opinions.
  8. Being too overzealous about getting together another time can be a turn-off and come across as desperate. There is a fine line between being showing interest and feeling like someone is being too assertive.
  9. Please ensure that you are showing interest in the man and asking about him, rather than just dominating the conversation about yourself.
  10. If you sound way too busy with an overly full schedule, you will definite give off the message that you do not have time for a man in your life.

Even if I don’t care to meet with the person again, should any of this matter?  Absolutely, as it is your reputation and it is great practice for when it does matter!


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Selective Professionals’ Network Clients’ Feedback